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First cricket match

A man was in a pub, describing his first cricket match to his mates.
'Well,' he said, 'these two old men in white coats come out, followed by eleven more, also in white.

Then a couple of fellows with small planks of wood come out, one of the other lot threw a ball at him, he took a swipe at it, and if I 'adn't pushed the wife in the way, it would have smashed me right in the face!'